Monday, March 7, 2011

Money-Talk in the Relationship

Tonight the BF called me on his lunch break and among other topics mentioned, "Maybe we should talk about the financials, so that we know what's going on with the other one when we're trying to plan things."


I think this was sparked by talks of going on some sort of Spring Break trip and me stating that while I could afford it, I wasn't sure if I wanted to afford it right now.

Honestly, it's something I've been wanting to talk about with him, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Yes, all my personal information is on the internet, but I don't assume everyone else wants to talk about it. But, things are serious and we've used the M-word, so it's definitely something we should cover.

I'm super curious and excited to put this all out there. I probably won't share too much after we's not his blog and I'm not anonymous, so I don't want to overshare. But, I would love any input people have on how to go about this conversation...questions I might not think of or things to keep in mind. Really, I'd love advice on this one as it's pretty much uncharted territory for me.


  1. my best piece of advice is to be honest and just get the conversation going. talk about budgets and spending habits. a lot of people get anxious talking about money (i am NOT one of those) and i think honestly helps ease that tension. when i moved in with my BF (now fiance), he didn't even want to tell me how much i owed in bills b/c he felt bad asking me for money, i practically had to beat it out of him. but now that we've crossed the awkward bridge, we're super open about money.

  2. I'm excited for you, let us know how it goes!

  3. The BF and I have been very open with our finances. We are planning to buy a condo together so it has to be all out there.

    What we do is have monthly financial meetings the first Friday of each month. We talk about where we're at, what we're saving, how our investments are doing, and how our budgets are going. Obviously since we live together he sees everything that I spend it on and we do a lot of things together that involve money so it's no big surprise. The biggest thing is how each of you manage their money.. it gets easier over time and soon enough you will be talking about it all the time. As long as you both have the same goals I think you will be fine.

  4. Great question! As a married man, I can say this is a VERY important conversation you are about to have! Honesty is supreme. Just lay it all out, be real with each other, and talk openly about goals and expectations. The other thing: dream big but be realistic. Take things one day at a time and set modest goals you can reach together. Think about how to make your relationship better and stronger with financial planning as the means to that end...after all, if you love each other, your relationship is your MOST valuable asset. Good luck! I'm glad I found your blog. I'll be visiting!

  5. How did it go? Do you have any take aways from the convo you could share?

  6. I agree with the other commenters-- you have to be very honest and straightforward when talking about finances with your significant other. What also helps is talking about long-term financial goals-- do you just want to save for a trip while he's planning to retire early? If you've brought up the M word, I think it's important to understand the whole financial picture-- how much debt, income, assets, etc. you both have. Finance is definitely hard to talk about-- I know I've gotten into heated discussions about this w/ my fiance. But it really helps to know what you're getting into before the M word becomes reality.